Ok, so I really love Christmas. I didn't realize quite how much I love Christmas until a few years ago. Ever since I can remember, pretty much my entire life, my favorite holiday was Valentine's Day. Vday is still my favorite holiday, for several reasons (that was a plug for the next blog). So because I knew what my favorite holiday was and felt so strongly about it, I never considered really loving any other holidays.
I guess it was two or three years ago, and it was getting closer to Christmas. It was sometime in November, I'm sure shortly after Black Friday, when all the red and green and gold started to bleed from department stores. At one time, I'm sure I found this at least a little repulsive, because I felt as though the meaning of Christmas had been lost in the clutter of the red and gold and green. But this one year, the feeling was different. And I remember what I saw that made me feel different. It was a candle holder, very similar to one that my mother had on our kitchen table (which is probably the biggest reason why I liked it so much.)
Well, I saw it. It was this huge candle holder. I'm going to have to describe it to you, since a Google search was unproductive. This candle holder began at the base and had three "branches" that lead to bowls, where the tea lights could float. The branches were thick and silver and twisted the way that a twist-tie does when you wrap it around your finger. These thick branches ended at these large "bowls" at the top of this candle holder, where you filled the bowls with water and set tea lights in them. The bowls had beautiful designs of green holly with a gold outline and red berries on them. And all I could think about was how much I wanted this candle holder and how beautiful I thought it would look on my own kitchen table. Of course, at that time, I would have been either 19 or 20, so perhaps I was thinking about my own kitchen table a little too early, but I found that I couldn't help it. I wanted to think about that table and how that candle holder looked on it.
That discovery lead me to suddenly look at the regurgitated reds, greens, and golds in a different light. It was just as quick as that experience that I absolutely fell in love with Christmas and all that comes with it. I am Christian, so the holiday already means something to me. But I wouldn't trade anything for that feeling that the whole season gives me. It's this magical feeling, where my stomach feels lighter and all I can do is smile until my cheeks are throbbing and even then I don't want to stop. I absolutely love the hustle and bustle of the season, how there are never less than 200 people somewhere shopping, how it gets cold and you have to drape your heavy coat over your arm like a waiter in a fancy restaurant so that you don't burn up in the stores that have the heater on.
I like the crowd. That, ironically, is what most people do not like about Christmas. Most people don't like to push and shove and stand in the heat of the store and wait in line. I'm sorry, but you do that same thing the rest of the year and it doesn't bother you? Why of all times, would Christmas bother you? But, I digress.
Another thing about Christmas that means so much to me is Christmas Eve. This is for two reasons.
- It was my Mama's birthday.
- I told Justin that I was in love with him on Christmas Eve in 2003.
My Mama (my grandmother) died when I was 12 in 1998, the day before her birthday. It was really sad and I had a hard time coping with it. Every year, I certainly pay homage to her mentally, because I won't ever forget her. And my favorite Christmas decoration that we put up in my house was also her favorite, a long garland that goes over the big doorway in our living room, accompanied by white lights that blink in tune to carols. So every year, since I am in charge of putting up that particular decoration, she still lives on and her favorite decoration still gets to be put up. :)
Justin and I had only been dating a short while when we told each other that we were in love. It had been just over a month, but what you don't know is that we had been really good buddies for a year prior to dating, so I knew a lot about him and all I wanted to do for a year was date him. After breaking up with the jerk that he called his best friend in high school, Justin asked me to be his girlfriend on Nov. 14, 2003. (So, November holds a special place in my heart, too. <3) That Christmas Eve in 2003, Justin and my family had gone to a service at the church we attended then. We were all coming back to my house, so Justin and I rode in his red '94 Thunderbird back home. We got there and parked in the front driveway. I remember sitting in that car, with a street light behind us barely lighting the inside, while he looked so deep into both eyes at once and told me such sweet things. (These were not sweet nothings, these were sweet things.) After we had talked in the car for so long, we told each other that we were in love with the other one. Even though I knew I was already in love with him, I was able to tell him with my whole heart on Christmas Eve in 2003.
Back to Christmas!
I'm not so much on the Christmas clothes, I will admit, like the sweaters that have working lights in the front. That's just tacky. But wearing just green or red is pretty acceptable. I like the food around Christmas, and the movies that come on TV. I love to sing the carols and hear them on the radio in my car. I love decorating the tree and wrapping presents while drinking a warm beverage. It's just perfect, and a fantastic way to always end the year. The looks on people's faces when they open the gift they wanted, and the feeling of togetherness on Christmas morning. Nothing can ever take that away from me, and I don't think there will ever be anything that could replace it. And to think, it was all because of a candle holder.
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