Walking for Rachael

Rachael over at Talk2theTrees asked all of her NC readers to send her some earth treasures from the Tarheel State.  So today, I walked around Avalon, our complex, and picked up some goodies for her.  And I'm off work tomorrow, so I can mail it all to Utah as soon as tomorrow morning!

While I was walking around, I made sure to capture some of this Autumn beauty on Delilah. :)

The tree in front of our building

Isn't this a great little path behind our building?

The one going the other direction isn't bad, either!

Tie-dye leaves!

A bird's nest!

Can you believe this is just some little pond behind our mailboxes?

Autumn Love: it even blooms from the berry bushes!

Some sparking apple cider we bought yesterday at Total Wine

yum!

Such a Nice Saturday

Today was such a nice Saturday with Justin.

The weather here is finally getting cooler, and the trees are looking mighty beautiful!  Last night, Justin and I stayed up pretty late, til almost 3 a.m.  I of course had to take a nap in order to do this, but for Justin it comes naturally.  He stayed up playing and finishing The Witcher, and I just looked around the Internet.

This morning we slept in.  I got up around 11 a.m., and Justin slept in til around 1 p.m.  I got up and read some Green Mile before Justin woke up.  After Justin got up, we got ready and headed out for some lunch.  I had some coupons for A.C. Moore, which is near a few other shopping centers, where a Starbucks and a Best Buy are housed.  There is also a Red Robin, and I originally suggested we go there because the whole point of the trip was to go to A.C. Moore to get something with the coupon.  Justin wanted a good burger,but apparently wasn't really in the mood for Red Robin.  We decided to go to Piper's Deli, a little mom-and-pop place down the street from all the shopping centers we were going to.  I'm not a huge fan of Piper's, and we've only been twice or three times.  But Justin really loves their burgers (which are called "Reallys" for some reason), and so we went.

The food was okay for me, but of course Justin thought it was heavenly.  We left there and headed over to the shopping center with A.C. Moore in it.  On the way there, we took "the long way," and passed these amazing homes that have just come into being.  (I'm sure we passed them before while they were still dirt and because we don't live on that side of town anymore, forgot all about them.)  They were townhomes, which I'm really big on, and they were so pretty.  There were only about 8 of them, all in one little row, next to the road.  As we drove past, I asked Justin to remind me to take the long way home so that we could see them again.

There is a PetSmart down the strip from A.C. Moore, and today was Adoption Day, and Justin and I couldn't resist going in there and seeing the animals up for adoption.  Sadly, there were only cats available for adopting, which we both found weird because usually adoptions are more dog-specific at PetSmart since cats are available for adoption/purchase there all year long.  Justin and I have been discussing getting a dog for a long time, but never really looked into it in a realistic way.

After the Adoption Day was a bust, I asked him to look up the animal shelters that were close, and perhaps we could go look, and today would be the day we actually got a pet.  He looked it up on his phone as we went into Total Wine next door and bought some seasonal Halloween beer singles.  Turns out, the closest one to where we were was in Chapel Hill, and it was only about 15 minutes away.  We put the beer in the car and walked to A.C. Moore, and of course found nothing to buy.  (Doesn't that always happen?  No?  Just me?  All right, then.)

After I browsed A.C. Moore for a little bit, we headed to the animal shelter.  We got there and found a few furry friends that we may would have liked to take home, but nobody fit the bill enough to actually go through with it.  There was one dog, a little beagle named Winnie, who was just perfect for us.  And of course she was already adopted.  We spent about an hour there, and were willing to go to another one, but the one in Durham closes at 2 on Saturdays, and the only other one was in Raleigh, and I'd just about rather take a beating than drive to/through Raleigh.  We may go tomorrow, but we'll see.  We believe that we just weren't meant to have a dog today.  So, we left and I was so disappointed that Winnie was taken.  Justin promised that we would find another perfect dog, and they would be our Winnie.  You'd almost think we'd lost a child or something the way he comforted me.  It was so sweet.

So we headed back to Durham, because I had a hankering for a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks, and Justin mentioned he wouldn't mind looking around Best Buy.  We were turning into Starbucks, when Justin remembered this place in Chapel Hill called Caribou Coffee.  He had coffee there before with one of his friends and was really impressed by it, and wanted me to have some of their coffee as well.  I reminded him that we were literally about a mile from Chapel Hill at that point and that we could just turn around.  He thought about it briefly and agreed, so we turned around and headed back up 15-501 into Chapel Hill.  We found Caribou Coffee, but took the wrong split initially.  As we were driving to correct our mistake, we had to pass through one of the wonderful shopping centers Chapel Hill has to offer (I have a thing for Chapel Hill, and I can't wait til we live there!).  In the center was a shop called Womancraft Gifts.  The name caught my eye and I really wanted to go in there.  But we continued to Caribou and went inside and ordered some drinks.  Justin got a Turtle Mocha with dark chocolate, and I got a Vanilla White Chocolate Mocha.  They were both really good, but I didn't like Justin's just because it was so dark chocolatey.

Way back earlier in the day when we went into Total Wine, Justin's allergies reacted to something pretty badly, and he still had a terrible headache all these hours later.  Justin agreed to go back to the gift shop with me, and right next  to it was a CVS.  I suggested he go buy some medicine for his headache, and he thought that was a good idea so he did.  I went into the store and was kind of disappointed because even though the store had nice things in it, mostly local or local artist stuff, it was pretty expensive for a budget such as mine.  I did find one thing I liked, though.  I found a "condiment dish" with a dragonfly painted on the bottom.  I'm not going to use it as a condiment dish, of course, but I don't really know what its purpose is yet, either.  I just know that I liked it when I saw it and that it only cost $8.

After the gift shop, we headed back home.  I almost forgot to go back by the gorgeous houses, and Justin reminded me.  We took the long route home to see them one more time, and Justin said he remembered seeing an Agent on Duty sign in front.  We turned into the small development, and even though there was an Open House and a Model House sign, we checked both of them out and they were already closed for the day.  We looked in through the window, though, and were left breathless.  These places were absolutely beautiful on the inside.  When we got back home, we were on a house hunting kick, so I looked up these houses on the website.  While they are incredible, the prices fit the bill.  They are expensive!  Not only that, they are bought and not rented, something we can't do right now.  I was kind of sad to learn that, but it just means that something better will come along!

My stomach began to get really queasy once we got home, and I blame it on Piper's.  I think the burger really upset my stomach.  I didn't think it tasted that good when I ate it, but I wrote that up to not eating there often and not being accustomed to the taste, plus Justin's stomach was fine.  But, I popped some Pepto, and now I feel better.

Now, Justin is playing Arkham City, and I really like watching him play.  It's currently 11:46 p.m., and the day is almost over.  I think soon, we are going to go to Wendy's for some crispy chicken sandwiches.  There is laundry going, and the windows are up with no A/C or heat on.  It's a lovely night.  And the ending to a lovely Saturday.

Good Advice

When Justin and I got engaged, I made an account for us on The Knot.  Once your wedding date is reached, the Knot automatically transfers you to The Nest, a site for newlyweds, and completing the tri-fecta is a site for babies/family called The Bump.


Since we've been married, I've been getting e-mails from the Nest, with advice or suggestions for newlyweds.  Most of the articles are shit.  (And the comments are worse!)  But today, I came across this article, and it was actually worth a look.




7 Relationship Mistakes Even the Smartest Couples Make

Mistake #1: Not Dealing With Debt

Newsflash: Money is the #1 thing couples fight about. Fess up about your personal debt -- because for better or worse -- and then set up a financial game plan with our budgeter.

Mistake #2: Alienating Your Friends

Friends are key for a successful marriage, so tag along on those girls' nights out. Just because you're not guy-hunting doesn't mean you can't be a supportive wingwoman.

Mistake #3: Not Having Enough Sex

Over 60 percent of newlyweds we surveyed were already in a sex rut! Yeah, you're busy, but that's not a good enough excuse not to get busy. Initiate sex, even if you don't feel like it or have to schedule it. If you get in the habit of having it, you'll start wanting it (and liking it) more.

Mistake #4: Letting Yourself Go

So you put on the "newlywed nine." Big whoop...you've already found your mate, right? Wrong! Make a plan to get fit together or at least respect each other's goals.

Mistake #5: Outlawing the In-Laws

Fifty percent of couples we surveyed have a problematic relationship with their in-laws (ya think?). Manage expectations, like saying you'll call on Sundays so his mom doesn't guilt-trip you for ignoring her weekday messages. Even if your spouse is bitching about his family, resist the urge to chime in. It'll bite you in the butt later.

Mistake #6: Crazy Fighting

Getting hitched isn't a free pass to hit below the belt (sorry!). When you're getting really heated, walk away to cool down for a few minutes.

Mistake #7: Becoming Baby-Obsessed

It's easy to fixate on that next big step, but chill out -- the average couple has a kid within three years of marriage. So really, why rush? Savor the moments (and vacations you can take!) now...when you won't have to be waking up for a brutal 4 a.m. feeding. 




I think most of these suggestions are really worth heeding.

Here's how we measure up (so far):

1. This one was hard for us, simply because we had never discussed it before.  It wasn't that we were embarrassed by our separate debt, but more so that we just didn't want to talk about it with each other, which isn't much better.  Now we're better at it, and we've even paid off some of it!  Justin's paid off 2 of his credit cards, and hopefully by the end of the year, mine will be paid off, too!
2. Because most of our friends are back in SC, it's difficult to not alienate them.  But whenever we go home, we make sure and see everyone we love!  Molly and I get together every time I'm in Spartanburg, and Justin is sure to play MTG with someone while he's in town.  Justin has had some luck making friends around Durham, but I haven't had as much.  I've had one lead or two, but they fizzle out pretty soon afterward.  I hope that changes.
3. Although I agree that sex is/can be important to a relationship, particularly a marriage, I also believe that forcing sex upon the relationship is only going to make things worse.  Justin and I have dealt with this frustration before, and it's always that I'm the one who isn't in the mood or doesn't want to.  He's is always in the mood for it, and it's very hit and miss with me.  But in spite of this, we both agree that if I were forced to have sex when I didn't want to, neither one of us would enjoy it.  We've tried scheduling it, but I feel like that takes all the "fun" out of it.  Needless to say, we are still working on this aspect of our relationship.
4. I don't agree with this one 100%.  When you marry someone, you say, "For better or worse," not, "Until you gain 40 pounds."  If you want to get in better shape, that's fine, and more power to you.  But I don't think your spouse should be concerned if you gain weight, nor should you think less of your partner should they put on a few.  If you weren't married, you might gain that weight anyway, just living your life.  It happens.  Just because you're married, you shouldn't let go of things you once found important, but by the same token, you shouldn't try and measure up to your partner's expectations, because to a large degree, there shouldn't be any.
5. This one is SO important on my end.  Justin and my mom got along when we were just dating, and they are still good together when she visits.  But me and Justin's parents?  No way, I feel like there is always something wrong.  Granted, this has gotten better since we've been married, but sometimes it still pops up.  Their biggest complaint is that I never call.  I don't know why I should be forced to call them everyday and "check in" when Justin isn't required to call my mom and report to her everyday, too.  Once again, being forced to do something makes it all the more undesirable!
6. Thankfully, Justin and I don't fight very often.  In fact, our biggest fight within the last year happened before we got married.  We are starting to get better, Justin mostly, at not getting mad/offended/upset at certain things.
7. Ah.  This is my biggest problem.  Even before we got married, Justin and I talked about babies and baby names and etc.  I've always been a big baby person, ever since I was little, and I always knew I wanted to be a mother.  So it's always been a huge topic of conversation for us.  But now that we're married, we're starting to realize that having a baby is quite permanent.  Even though we're married, we can get divorced.  It's not permanent.  But once you have a child, and claim it anyway, you are its parent until the day you die.  I don't think we're willing to give up our freedom just yet.  And we're still young!  We have plenty of time to start a family.  Not to mention, we are trying to save up some money, as well as pay off a good chunk of debt, before we start a family. 

So that's my two cents.  I think all in all, as we are about to reach the one-year mark, we're doing pretty well.  I like where we are, and I like our life together.  I wouldn't trade it for anything. :)

Saturday in Spartanburg

This past Saturday, October 8, was my "cousin" Jordan's wedding (I use that term loosely simply because we are only cousins by marriage and we aren't very close).  She and her husband, Luke, have been dating for a while, just as long as Justin and me.  The wedding was very nice, but I really didn't care for her color choices.  She somehow managed to put eggplant purple, orange, red, and green together.  (Eww.)  Here are some pictures from the big day. . .

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But it was the morning of the wedding that meant so much to me.  Luke and I went to see Daddy run in a 5K around downtown Spartanburg.   He even called both of us individually to ask if we could come, something that never happens.  We got there late (Daddy said it started at 8 a.m., and his goal was to finish around 9:50 a.m.; we got there right at 9), not really knowing where to go.  So when we saw a crowd of people, we migrated to them.  As we reached the crowd, we realized that the crowd was standing around the finish line.  Furthermore, we noticed everyone standing around had a number pinned on them.  Luke and I started getting nervous because we were afraid that Daddy had already finished and that we had missed him.  Daddy has been running since he was in high school, so it didn't surprise either of us to think that he could have finished a 5K in under an hour.  We stood on the curb next to the road, which was currently being used as the track, where other participants were still running.  After ten long minutes of waiting, Luke and I were starting to give up hope.  And then suddenly, Daddy came down the hill.  There was a camera crew from the local news station there covering the event, because apparently some celebrity was running the 5K and even had a police escort ride a motorcycle next to him as he ran, and Daddy briefly spoke to them as he ran past.  He seemed pretty pleased to see us.  While Daddy continued running, Luke and I hung out together on the curb.  We decided to sing "Eye of the Tiger" as he ran past on his last lap, but it didn't work out because as he ran past us, Daddy was too far away to hear us singing.  But Daddy finished running and didn't go to bad over his goal time, although he was pretty beat when he finished.

That's a lot of ice!

It was great to see Daddy, but he was his usual self.  Not that that's bad, but sometimes it leaves a lot to be desired, particularly if you're trying to impress him.  He wasn't impressed by either one of our jobs, but he never really is.  There were several stands set up from local companies and stores, and Academy Sports had a tent set up with Plinko, and each of us played.  Luke and Daddy each won water bottles and I won a bracelet.  There was another tent that gave the runners free food and drinks, and Daddy really wanted to hit that tent up.  They had pulled pork sandwiches, and Daddy grabbed three of them, along with some drinks, a muffin, and a banana.  We sat around for a while and talked, and then Daddy had to go because even though he had just run 5 miles, he opened the office!  So Daddy ate a sandwich and gave Luke and me the other two.  We left with them.  Just a block down from the marathon was a new park that had been built since I moved from Spartanburg, and I had seen it several times when I visited home.  There were swings and I really wanted to go sit in them.  I told Luke that, and he was up for going, so we did.  Luke and I parked across the street in the parking lot of a bank and walked over.

Luke and I sat in this swing and ate our sandwiches and just got to hang out.  We talked about nothing and it was great.  I told him I was proud of him and how well he had done in the last year.  It was almost chilly outside, and everything felt amazing.

There was lots of other cool stuff in the little park, too.

It was a great morning with my brother.  We drove around everywhere with the windows down, cranked some of his mixed CDs, and had a great time together.  It was wonderful.  My brother is the best. :)